Angeline's Story: I'm Beautiful
I was reminiscing on what it was to be without: without knowing who I was, without knowing my value, without knowing the love of Jesus. I remember looking in the mirror with disgust in the past, thinking, "If I were just skinny, I'd be beautiful." I'd dress in sweaters and sweats to hide myself, my disgusting self. I was so lost. When I gave Jesus everything and started walking with Him, I still remained in a place of having an orphan mentality. I would try identify as a daughter by exclaiming, “Oh, I am a child of God," yet I'd still manifest the attributes of an orphan. I was still begging and pleading for worth and value and trying to earn it.
As I began to surrender more to God, the more I began to surrender to love. God began to mold me and release beauty over me. I remember crying at an alter call at a SexualityUnmasked conference (a movement of sexual purity, healing and restoration) when for the first time I believed that I was beautiful. I received revelation that 1) beauty is not first a physical attribute, but a position of the heart, 2) that it is found in character, the inward treasure of who you are, and 3) that as a daughter, my Father & Creator makes only beautiful things.
Now, I'm not running after a vain conception of beauty that fades after it is obtained—one of physical attractiveness. I'm not trying to be the hottest, sexiest, top-ten most-desired woman. No, that means nothing to a daughter who knows her worth and value in God and carries herself in modesty and purity of heart. That's who God is calling His women to be—daughters. Daughters who dress and carry themselves as though they are worthy of His life laid down. The manifestation of the bride of Christ is one who flees sexual immorality in all the ways she dresses and carries herself. He is coming for a pure and spotless bride. So, as I sit here and reminisce on where God has taken me, I encourage you—truly check your hearts. Be open to the hand of the Holy Spirit coming in and removing the junk to make room for Him. Surrender to His love. He is the only one who brings true identity, the only One worth living for.